'Let them eat bananas': A modest proposal

Bananas are the best food on the planet: they have all of the protein, vitamins, and carbohydrates that a person could ever need. Who needs black beans, whole grains, and vegetables anyways? I mean, do you think the United Fruit company (aka, Chiquita) would have allowed the Banana Massacre to occur (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana_massacre#Massacre) just for their own profits and control?! Of course not! They really had our best interest at heart! They were really concerned that we should be eating as many bananas as possible and we were paying  as little as possible for these bananas. Using military forces to open fire on men, women and children who were protesting laborers, hoping for a fair wage was for the worthy cause of bananas! Likewise the 1954 Guatemalan coup d'état was also further concern for our fruit consumption! Of course, it is out of the question for local Guatemalan people to have control of farmland in their country and make a decent living, the United Fruit Company obviously should be able to own large amounts of farmland and then neglect it, who are we to criticize?

As you can see, bananas are the only food we should be eating. All of these destroyed economies and even lives have been for this one sole cause: for us to eat bananas. The most frequently purchased item at Walmart is bananas: go buy some today and support your banana republic!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana_republic

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uneven_and_combined_development